In praise of the humble dawg

Hot dogs. They’re bad for you. They taste like shit. So why are they so good? Maybe it’s because they just act as a vehicle for whatever you like to put on them. Like wasabi on sushi. I love sushi too, but honestly I don’t crave the taste of raw salmon or tuna as much as I crave the sticky rice, chewy seaweed, and most importantly the nose flaring pungency of that sea green paste. Oh yeah, and lots of soy sauce.

Much like sushi, the tube steak and its cohort the bun serve as a virtual delivery system for what we really want to eat. Mustard and relish make a great combo and a nice crunchy contrast to that warm pink steamy vessel. Who could deny the glorious rapture of chili and cheese? Or the authentic mid-European tang of sauerkraut and onion dotted with bits of artery clogging salt pork.

Recently, I’ve discovered that cole slaw makes for a wonderful topping for a grilled doggy. Last night, I was trying to use up a head of cabbage that I’d had for a while and didn’t want to have to throw it out later. So, I commenced to grating. Memories of my dad came flooding back to mind as I recalled his own famous cole slaw. Other than his penchant for using Cain’s mayonnaise, I really have no idea how he made it, but I’m sure there was no recipe per se, and he just eyeballed everything.

I used a box grater to shred this stuff nice and fine so it would suck up that mayonnaise right away. If you grate it too thick, the cabbage stays too crunchy unless you let it sit overnight. Then I shredded a couple of carrots the same way. Had to settle for Hellman’s instead of Cain’s, then shook out some salt and pepper. Then I added about a tablespoon or so of Italian salad dressing, just for a little complexity. I don’t really know how much mayo I used, maybe a half a cup to about one small head of cabbage.

The end result was pure bliss. After grilling those dogs a little bit, and sliding them into those gluten rich white bread overcoats, we then piled on the slaw. The creamy, crunchy texture provided the perfect counterpart for that soft bread and the mysterious meat wrapped up in that crunchy intestinal casing. Swallowing this oversized bullet in two or three glorious mouthfuls, the idea of wasabi paste on a hot dog came to mind. Hmm, it would be much less messy and clear your sinuses too. Perhaps next time.